To You I cry, O Lord; and in the morning shall my prayer come to meet You.

~ Psalm 88:13 AMP

Maybe it was because it had been a long day  maybe it was because I was tired  maybe it was even due to me having a horrible headache  . . . I am not sure  perhaps each played a part in the outcome . . . mostly thou I think it is that I am tired - tired of the violence, drugs, drinking  . . . tired of the abnormal being normal  . . . tired of "right" now being so wrong  . . . tired . . .  

Last Sunday afternoon  a neighbor took some form of a pellet gun & shot a bird  . . . why? Oh the story seems to change rather rapidly  . . . first it was because he wanted too  . . . then it was that the "cat" ( this is the "owner" to the cat I wrote about in entry June 23rd ) had caught the bird & they needed to put it out of its misery  . . . I could go for that one, I could completely understand that except for the fact that they chose to shoot it five times  . . . once in the eye, once in a wing, another in the neck ( it is not clear where the other shots ended up )  . . . so the "putting it out of its misery" story is just not holding much water  with this information in play  . . . as well it happened during the early evening in front of a large amount of his "party people", kind of a show off power thing took play is my thought . . .

My Oldest Daughter  came in and informed me of what took place . . . I tried to calm her down but she was truly heartbroken over it  . . . the individual who did this happens to be the step-father of a child she plays with, he also happens to be a major drug dealer around here, & feels he owns the street  . . . every evening  there are near 15-30+ individuals ranging in ages from infant  to adults  outside his trailer playing basketball  riding bikes  drinking  cussing  play fighting  bringing pit bulls out, fireworks  playing awful music  using horrible language   ( and now I am told by a neighbor that he has prositutes up there as well ) . . . he resides at the top of the street so to enter and/or leave you have to go pass this area  . . .  it is not a comfortable situation, yet it goes on each & every day ( yes at times they do this during the day  as well ) . . . the park manager? Oh I have been told by others that he & she are "really good friends" . . . need I say anything more??!!!

Anyhow . . . as I said my Oldest  was very upset, so was I  . . . I tried to explain to her some things but it was a difficult conversation . . . then the boy whose step-father did this & some of his friends decided to stop over  . . . when my Oldest  asked him why his step-father did it we were told because he wanted too & then we got to witness him & his friends go on & on in graphic detail about how "cool" it was to see this bird flinch & wallow in pain  . . . part of my daily prayers  to God is to take a lock  off my heart  & place it on my mouth   , even for God locking my lips is a serious challenge! So to see these kids who range in ages under 10 years gloating & talking trash  . . . well, sadly I had no lock & said many things that in hindsight I am quite certain I could have handled much much better  . . . it did not go very well at all . . . they were not listening to me, & I was not listening to them . . . well, completely listening that is . . . for they heard me call the step-father a very not so top notch choice name & I heard "revenge" . . .

For quite some time that evenin'  we had this group of kids, again I remind you all under the age of 10, riding their bikes  pass our trailer "announcing" that I needed to apologize for calling the step-father a name . . . you know, calling him a name especially in front of childern was not one of my wisest actions I agree  . . . we all do quite stupid things in heated moments, this is an area I am working on . . . but with the kids still discussing how cool the killing was & trying to intimadate me  . . . I gotta tell ya' pride stepped in, which is not a good thing either . . . I explained to them that what the step-father did I did not feel was right, I voiced my opinion, end of subject . . . mmm, not quite, not quite  . . . as I stated neither of us were listening . . . all they were wanting to hear was me to say I am sorry . . . but the more they tried to "armstrong" me the more I got angry myself, & the more I realized this step-father truly was the name I pulled out of my rump  . . .  my final straw was when this one child who is 11 announced "we will get the whole neighborhood to cuss her out if she does not apologize"  . . . can you see how idotic this has become now? The 11 year old is a HUGE trouble maker, he thrives on talking about everyone to everyone, truth is something he can not comprehend . . . he choose to stand behind my Hubs truck talking trash  about me, when I stood up & informed him he was welcome to come right over to where I was & talk  to me he tried to act like he was not talking about me at all & ran off only to come back & do this a few more times - interesting he choose not to step on our property . . .  arrggghhh  . . . this is the same kid who spent hours  here after school because he was afraid to go home alone, who ate our food, played computer, etc etc . . . he is also the same kid that comes over to play with my Oldest  until something better comes along . . . I have low tolerance for these things  but due to Oldest  request I attempt to bite my tongue  . . .

 The boy who's step-father shot the bird? He has a speech impairment & has been made fun of  by the same children he was riding about in a pack  . . . my Oldest  has never made fun of him, has even sat with him when he was feeling low  trying to cheer him up  . . . he too has been here when he was alone, eatting our food, playing our computer, watching TV, playing, walking around the neighborhood with us  . . .  argh argh argh  . . .

It got to one point that it became obvious I was not going to take back my words so with the encouragement of his pack the boy went & told his father what I said . . . which then had them come back & tell me what his father supposedly said  . . . my reply? Fine . . . they did not like that reply so they again go back to the step-father, then back to me but this time with a nastier supposed remark  . . . again I reply . . . fine . . . this too did not set well with them so again the back & forth & yet a more nasty remark was relayed to me  . . . I sighed heavily knowing these "sweet young children" were just really wanting to see a fight . . told them again Fine but added I was told something that I did not think was right, I expressed my opinion, he has expressed his, said & done . . . hhhhmmm, yeah  . . . . this seemed to make them feel that they needed to ride their bikes continously back & forth in front of our trailer as they talked loudly about the "coolness" of the bird dieing . . . mmmm   . . . they were truly trying to egg me on . . . but instead they really have broken my heart  ( which I am sure would bring them joy as well ) . . . I feel badly for these kids, very badly  . . . now I am far far far from being perfect that is for sure, I am not parent of the year . . . any year! But their actions make it obvious the environments they are being raised in, environments that our society has enabled & said it is okay . . . violence, cruelty, intimadation, disrespect - are all acceptable . . . & you need to agree or shut up! As I mentioned keeping a lock  on my mouth has yet to be accomplished, so I don't think I will be shutting up anytime soon  . . .

 

 God, I'm glad You know what today holds. Thank You for  equipping me with everything I need to face everything ahead. You're truly wonderful! Amen

~ May you ALWAYS be Blessed & may you ALWAYS Bless others ~

Sorry to hear of all the problems in the area. You know kids are a product of their environment. So be proud of your children and the job that you and your husband have done so far. As to the other issue, the more you reply the more they will come back. Next time, try quoting scripture instead and see if they keep coming back. I would bet not.

As for the animal cruelty, send a letter to the local Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Send it anonymously if you are concerned about reprisal. Try to make friends with a police officer that works in the area. Sometimes they will do extra drive-bys which could help.

Don't know if any of this will help or make things worse but I understand the need not to let them bully you. However, sometimes it is best to turn a blind eye to the situation, as hard as that may be. You are not going to change their attitudes and minds to your way of thinking.

Take care, stay safe and God Bless!

Problems are everywhere, always have been always will be I reckon. . . just as of late people seem more "intensly negative" . . . I am extremely Blessed with my family & I am forever grateful to God for this

You know I wish I could have remembered some scriptures at that time but I . . I went blank & I agree the more you reply the more they will come back so I attempted to be quiet . . . even said this is my feeling, this is yours, lets agree to disagree . . . sadly the younger generation is being raised with violence all around them . . . games, songs, videos, "mentors" . . they have become accustomed to it all & don't see the wrong . . . I agree I was not going to change their attitudes or minds, that is for sure . . . but I hope I planted a seed . . .